Tensions continue to build across the West Country after a historic Cornwall rocket launch ended in abject failure today.
The American Virgin Orbit company employed a Jumbo jet to deploy a satellite high over the Atlantic Ocean, having departed from Newquay in Cornwall. Although the reasons for failure are not yet clear and have been described simply as an ‘anomaly’ by the company, the neighbouring county of Devon was quick to point a finger of blame at Cornwall.
Mermaids
“This was an accident waiting to happen,” said the ghost of Okehampton castle, “the Mermaid of Zennor can be a spiteful old bitch sometimes.”
Somerset has weighed in on the argument by stating that the rocket should never have been launched from a Jurassic coast county. “There’s definitely something odd going on down there, don’t you think?” claimed the Oak Men who haunt the woods.
Inbred
Devon has committed to launching its own space program. “We’ll show those inbreds what a real rocket launch looks like,” said a voice from Kitty Jay’s Grave
The county of Dorset was unavailable for comment.
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